I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize