do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Your tits are I can't wait for
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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