I cockslap morals
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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