Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
