People in love make me want to vomit
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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