So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
