Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
