What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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