I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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