Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
