That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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