look no pants
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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