Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
