Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
