But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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