careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
