i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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