There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Every concussion has its silver lining
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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