I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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