woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
