everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
