I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
