By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
