Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
