How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Randomize
