"it" just moved
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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