Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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