Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
