the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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