Heybabeimwearingurpanties
There was a lot of him and a little penis
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
