He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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