Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
