I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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