Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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