sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
