You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
