That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
