White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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