I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Need sex. Gaining weight.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
