I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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