He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
