Quick, to the slutcave!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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