Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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