I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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