I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
