he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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