omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
