i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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