apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My dick has a subreddit
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
