worst night to have a conscience
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
